A Teacher's First Lesson
a new teacher walked into class
sat down behind the desk
and waited for students to settle
she took out two sacks
with white and black paper stacks
she passed out paper of white and black
and crayons of the same shade
each student with a black crayon
got a paper with the same darkness
so did all the ones with white
"i want you to draw
the most beautiful thing
you've ever seen"
mouths dropped
eyes widened
students gaped
so they tried
with all their might
to do the task set
the clock hand turned one round
the bell rang aloud
"we shall do this
day after day
until everyone has drawn something"
the teacher declared to no one in particular
so they stared and sighed
at the materials
day after day
week after week.
one term later,
a student turned around
and exchanged his black crayon
with the other student's white one.
the solution began to dawn.
students began to draw.
as she collected the papers,
tears formed in her hazel eyes.
eyes in green, blue and brown.
wated her as she moved down the rows.
then she took out a painter's smock
pulled it over her pantsuit
and produced a painting of colours.
blended to foam a wonderful picture of
amour, paix, joie.
she took out fingerpaints and smeared black all over the painting.
"you gave me hope,
when u realise that
both black and white
are needed
to form a
beautiful picture
it doesnt matter
if u are a
black
or a
white.
both are equally important
when there's racisim
the peace love and joy will be drowned"
comprehension dawned
tears feel free
the students finally understood
the teacher's first lesson
of amere, pace, goicia.
Why?
Why do i even do well,
when a split second later,
will put people's hopes down again?
How do i even manage,
to manupliate others,
to make them think,
that i actually have a shot at being good?
Why dont i just let the blood flow,
the tears run, until they are dried,
so that i would leave this world?
Why am i so fake,
so hypocritical?
jus to fit into a picture
where i obviously dont belong?
Why do i even deceive others and myself,
just to show that im "normal",
when i am not?
Why do i do all these,
when i dont even know how to think,
how to act, and how to respond?
Why do i even pretend that i've got potential,
when i know fully well that i'll fail,
when i cant go on?
Why...?